Is Love Enough to Stay?
Is Love Enough to Stay?
We recently received a letter from an anonymous sender. She is asking for an advice on how she and her partner can overcome and survive their long-distance relationship.
A real-life story of Claire with her long-distance relationship.
I saw your page in my friend's Facebook Timeline and I was moved when I saw your post about anger. Since then, I become eager to read your other posts and it is really relatable. I was so happy to find websites like this to somewhat inspire and bring positivity especially in this very crucial time.
Call me Claire, 24 years old and currently working as a call center agent here in Alabang. I have a boyfriend and we have been together for almost 2 years already. Vince and I were friends before we became a couple. He was a co-worker before at a manufacturing company where I used to work.
Vince is good-looking and I can tell that he had numerous admirers even until now. This is the most common reason of our misunderstanding. Okay, aaminin ko, selosa akong tao. I do not have the good looks nor the sexy figure that most men can't take their eyes off. I am just an average chubby girl.
Sometimes, I can't help myself from asking Vince what he saw in me. He just smile and say, "I like you because you are a nice person. You are kind and most of all you are cute". Well, what do I expect? I know I am not beautiful. I know that he is just being honest but I feel a bit of disappointment in his response.
Whenever we are strolling, I sometimes catch him looking at some random beautiful, sexy girls we come across with. When I tease him, he always say, "Ayan ka na naman" (Here you go again). I'm a bit hurt and I felt jealous.
One day, he told me that he needs to go back to their province in Lucena, Quezon due to pandemic. His father asked him to go back home and help him in their business. They sell processed meat and they also run and manage a bakery.
I have some friends who are in a long-distance relationship. Some were able to manage and survived but some failed. This is the main reason why I am a bit skeptic because it will be totally different if in reality the main character is me.
I trust and love Vince. Long-distance relationship is not my ideal type of relationship. They say that absence make the heart go fonded. But what if he suddenly find someone beautiful and fall in love? Or what if the distance between us would make his love for me to fade? I have so many questions.
Even if I don't want him to go, I have no choice but to let him. But before we parted, we promised that we will keep our communication always. We will call each other everyday no matter what, message as frequent as we can, informing and updating each other about how we've been.
On the first week of being apart from each other, everything went well. But as the day goes by, he started to change. So this is what long-distance relationship really is.
The change in him made me think if do I still matter to him? The 2-3 times of call each day becomes once to no call at all. The text messages become less and less frequent. He said he was just busy.
There was this one day when he didn't call at all nor text a single message. Hoping that he will answer, I called him several times and sent him numerous text messages but he never even bothered to respond. I was so worried and frustrated.
The next day, he called and said he left his phone at home. He had to spent the night in his cousin's house because of the heavy rain. I got so mad and felt so bad. I thought to myself, how could he forgot his phone when he knows that it was our only way of communication? There are so many ways of how he can contact me. As the saying goes, if there's a will, there's a way.
I am starting to feel he is becoming distant to me physically and emotionally. Then one day I called him and his young cousin answered his phone. His cousin said he was with his new girlfriend. She said it so casually, which means she might be telling the truth. I asked her if she knows me and she said no. I did not tell her that I was his kuya Vince's girlfriend but rather just a friend.
My world just shattered. I loved him so much, trusted him and gave him everything. From that day, I did not text or call Vince. I waited and waited for his call and text message but I just waited for nothing. Two weeks had passed and I did not heard anything from him since.
I still love him and care for him but I was so hurt.
Please help me what should I do? Should I call him? I still want us to be together again but I am not sure if he still loves me. Or is it time for me to let go?
This story of Claire is very common now-a-days. Some of us experience the same situation as Claire's, the long distance relationship.
Our dear readers and subscribers, what do you think? We would like to know your comments, advice and insights. Please leave your comments below. Thank you.
LIFECHAINED answers. First, let me thank our dear followers and subscribers who have given their advices and shared their personal experiences. And with this, Lifechained answers to Claire.
Thank you for sharing with us your story. I know that you are still hurting and still going through that pain of losing the person you love. You are still confused and trapped in a crossroad, looking for reasons to hold on and stay or face the truth and let go.
Loving must always come within us. Before we could love and ask for love from someone, we should love ourself first. We should accept who we are and be proud of who we are and what we have. You said you are not beautiful enough. We are all beautiful. Physical aspect of beauty is only superficial. Do not let it define you. You mentioned that Vince liked you for your being nice and kind. I think, it is much better to be liked and be loved for who we are and not by how people see us. It is our inner character and what we do that defines us.
It is clear how much you loved Vince. Love must be a two-way street if you want to be happy. Distance should not be an excuse nor a hindrance for two people inlove. Pero, kung hindi sapat at tapat yun pagmamahal, madali ang lumimot. I agree with Sharon. Maybe, it is time for you to accept that Vince do not deserve your love. According to Nika, it is time to move on.
You can never get the answer you seek if you will not raise what you want to know. Call him. Sabi nga ni Wilson, you deserve closure for you to be able to move on. But before you call him, compose and gather your strength for you might face one of the most painful phase in your life. Always remember, you deserve better.
Finally and most importantly, sabi nga ni Jai Jai, pray. It would also help to keep yourself busy. Avoid doing things that would remind you of Vince and your memories together. It is time to let go now. As adviced by Littlevianney, wag mo hayaan na ma-trap at maiwan ka sa sitwasyon na may galit at puro hinanakit. You also deserve to be happy.
Loving is the most wonderful feeling which can sometimes also give us the most painful experience. However, this feeling is our best teacher for it makes us realize our true worth and know what we truly deserve.
Claire, everybody deserves to be happy and so do you. You deserve better. You are beautiful and you are a good person. Love yourself. Remember, love comes from within us. It always have been and always will be.
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