Is It Ok to Say NO?
Is It Ok to Say NO?
Does saying NO makes us bad? Why do we feel guilty somehow when we say NO? How can we say NO without being offensive, without hurting other people's feelings?
Saying NO might be one of the most difficult word to say. It is but only a two-letter word but why is it very hard to deliver? Maybe because it may mean rejection, or disagreement, or dismissal. Sadly most of the time this leads to arguements and misunderstandings. And this is the least that we want.
There are things to consider and factors to think about first when we are about to say NO. First, why and why not? Why can't we do it or agree to it? Does it go against what we want or need, or is it something we totally do not believe in, or just plain and simple is it something that can't be done? If so, then, why not?
Once we figure out the reason for saying no, comes the harder part. How are we going to say and deliver the message? The way how we say NO always makes the difference. It is the word that comes or didn't come away with it that sometimes causes misunderstandings.
When saying NO, we have to be honest but polite. It is better to say the real reason right away than hide it for awhile then admitting it a little later. Some might say it is a way of betrayal since you are somehow lying. Remember, you cannot conceal the truth forever. It will eventually comeout. So what is the sense of delaying it when it will hurt more when it is revealed later.
So explain but do not justify. Justifying also means you are making excuses. And justifying only shows that you actually have other options but still chooses to say NO without considerations, regardless.
By explaining, we honestly tell why we can't after some considerations and offer some options. That way, the other party can feel your sincerity and truthfulness without losing your loyalty.
On the part of the receiving party, there are some few things to consider and be reminded about. First, we need to be open-minded. Let us accept the fact that not everybody can agree to us. We cannot expect to get what we want and what we need always. If we are the one asking for favor, let us not demand. A request sounds more pleasant and will relatively gets a more positive response than a demand or command.
Let us be reminded that being considerate is a way of respect. We as well need to think about the feelings of other people, not just ourselves. Remember, honest but be polite. Explain not justify. And lastly, be considerate and not self-conceited.
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